As someone who witnessed domestic violence, I found it interesting to further research the effects it has on children and families. According to the The National Domestic Violence Hotline, abuse is defined as “Domestic violence includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want”. Domestic abuse does not discriminate. There are different methods utilized by the abuser to restrict and control their partner. Some of them include threats, sexual abuse, financial dependence on the abuser, and emotional abuse.
For years many people hid their abuse, if no one saw the bruises or asked questions, in reality it wasn’t really happening to them. We will go over some of the reasons children tend to keep to themselves about the abuse, studies that have helped with parent-child relationships, and what needs to be further researched to protect children.
Studies show that 1 in 4 children witness domestic abuse (Hamby et al. 2011) and are greatly affected, resulting in internal and external behaviors. When children witness domestic abuse between their parents they begin to experience anxiety and become fearful for their abused parent and siblings. According to the Domestic Violence Roundtable, children are expected to keep the family secret throughout their lives. Children are under so much pressure to not say a word about the abuse because of what the consequences could entail. It has been studied that children do not want to ask for help due to the fear of what could happen to their family.
The below website provides some reason’s as to why children do not want to expose the domestic violence in the family to others.
https://www.childsafehouse.org/get-informed/reasons-not-tell.cfm
Domestic Violence and a Child’s Silence
Researchers Callaghan, Fellin, Mavrou Alexander, and Sixsmith (2017) conducted a study to examine methods children utilize when expressing and telling their stories of domestic violence. They studied whether children choose to silence themselves or are being silenced. It was found that children choose to silence themselves. The reasons children choose not to expose the abuse according to what was found is “they showed an awareness of the potential risks involved in disclosing domestic violence, and appeared to make active and conscious decisions to quieten themselves” (Callaghan, et al, p. 3381). Children use silencing as a coping mechanism and to protect the ones that they love.
There is a lack of trust that children have for adults. Callaghan, et al (2017) were able to find that they did not want to disclose their experiences with adults because “they would not be believed or because they felt that to do so was to risk further harm to self and others” (p. 3381)
The video below goes in depth with what domestic abuse is and what is seen through a child’s eyes. It explains that children are the last people that you would expect to receive any negative affects from experiencing domestic abuse. The video also advises that children have the least people to turn to. Not simply out of fear of not having anyone to turn to but also due to the fear of no one listening. The speaker, Abi Cole, tells the story of what she experienced when she and her siblings were witnesses to the domestic abuse her father brought upon her mother. She explains that the physical after affects of domestic abuse such as a broken limp can easily be fixed compared to the emotional and psychological trauma caused by domestic violence. Cole speaks to further advocate for solutions to domestic violence.
The After Effects of Domestic Abuse
In order to study and assist children that deal with external behavior, such as aggression, clinicians implemented a study called Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (“PCIT”). The study was analyzed by researchers Amy Herschell, Ashley Scudder, Kristen Schaffner, Leslie Slagel (2016), where they concluded that PCIT was effective in helping the parent and child relationship and decreasing externalizing behavior.
Ways to Further Help those Witnessing Domestic Abuse
Domestic Violence and the effects it has on both the primary victim and the children involved has been profoundly studied. Ericka Kimball has indicated in her review Edleson Revisited: Reviewing Children’s Witnessing of Domestic Violence 15 Years Later (2015) that there should be further improvements in data collection in not just evaluating children’s negative behaviors as a result of domestic abuse but to obtain data in children’s experiences (p. 630). Many instruments are being implemented in helping those involved in domestic violence, such as the “Power and Control Wheel”, which was created by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project but further is needed. Kimball states “The focus on behavior may help to increase identification of children exposed to domestic violence, but it does little to capture the experience of domestic violence exposure in order to inform policy and programs to better serve this population” (p. 630).
I found that the best theory to apply to domestic violence is Symbolic Interaction theory. Throughout history marriage has been viewed as the man controlling and owning the woman. We always hear that women need to cook, clean, and provide pleasure to their husband but things have changed. Women have rights where they further do not see a desire to be with a man but for the women that have no issues in marriage sometimes run into conflicts such as domestic violence. Things have drastically changed in the 21st century and women are now speaking out and standing up for themselves. In the past women had no escape and it was very common for a woman to be abused by their husband, it was normal sad to say. Men continue to believe women are their property and will commit to domestic abuse acts if they do not get their way. As children get older they need to understand that this is not right and they do not need to commit to these actions once they get older.
I felt the need to discuss domestic violence because although awareness has been made and helplines have been put into place to help families, I do not feel as though many people think of it as a large importance unless they are experiencing it. Children and parents continue to feel afraid and uncomfortable of speaking out because they do not feel people will understand or believe them.
As an adult I continue to struggle with speaking about the domestic abuse I experienced because at the times I did speak out in my teenage years, I did not feel that anyone believed me. Although it was short lived, I continued to feel as though it made a large impact on my life and has brought trauma. I can’t even begin to understand those that experienced domestic violence throughout their entire childhoods and in a much dangerous environment. Children need to feel that they are protected. Just because they have their family, it does not mean that they are living in healthy environments. Some things are not black and white and can not be fixed by a simple solution. Research must be implemented to prevent abuse and protect those involved.
References
Callaghan, J., Fellin, L., Mavrou, S., Alexander, J., & Sixsmith, J. (2017). The Management of Disclosure in Children’s Accounts of Domestic Violence: Practices of Telling and Not Telling. Journal of Child & Family Studies, 26(12), 3370–3387. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1007/s10826-017-0832-3
Kimball, E. (2016). Edleson Revisited: Reviewing Children’s Witnessing of Domestic Violence 15 Years Later. Journal of Family Violence, 31(5), 625–637. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1007/s10896-015-9786-7
Kimball, E. ekimball@pdx. ed. (2016). Edleson Revisited: Reviewing Children’s Witnessing of Domestic Violence 15 Years Later. Journal of Family Violence, 31(5), 625–637. https://doi-org.lib-proxy.fullerton.edu/10.1007/s10896-015-9786-7
Hamby, S. L., Finkelhor, D., Turner, H., & Ormrod, R. (2011). Children’s exposure to intimate partner violence and other family violence. National survey of children’s exposure to violence (pp. 1-11). Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice Juvenile Justice Clearinghouse.
Photos
https://medium.com/athena-talks/domestic-abuse-is-domestic-terrorism-59ff3b431f6f
http://www.globi-observatory.org/children-witnesses-domestic-violence/
http://www.venturinimotorsports.com/news/index.cfm?cid=57055
Videos
TEDx Talks. 2015, July 30. Domestic violence: a child’s perspective. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cadKzL0Ec00&feature=youtu.be.
Family Project 